Trust: The Fragile Foundation of Connection
Why Trust Matters
Trust is the invisible thread that holds our relationships, workplaces, and societies together. It governs who we allow into our lives, who we rely on, and how we form meaningful connections. However, what happens when that thread is frayed—or broken? This article examines the nature of trust, exploring how it forms, how it is challenged, and how it can be intentionally rebuilt, even after deep wounds.
A Childhood of Caution
Growing up in an unpredictable and unstable environment, I learned early on not to trust people at face value. My world trained me to be skeptical, not by choice, but by necessity. I was not taught to trust—I was taught to survive. Those early lessons shaped how I engage with others even today, both personally and professionally.
Why We Trust at All
Before legal systems or formal agreements, trust was a matter of life and death. As infants, we are biologically wired to depend on others. Without trust, we cannot be fed, protected, or taught. Evolution favored those who could form social bonds because cooperation increased the odds of survival. Even today, trust is what makes everything from parenting to partnerships to global trade possible.
“Trust is one of the main forces that binds us together.”
(Hancock et al., 2023)
The Science of Trust
Trust is not only emotional—it is neurological. The amygdala, prefrontal cortex, and striatum all work together to assess threats and guide social behavior (Tuhin, 2025). Key to this process is oxytocin, often referred to as the “bonding hormone.” It is released during moments of closeness—like hugs or vulnerable conversations—and strengthens our sense of connection.
However, oxytocin has a dual nature. It increases trust within groups but can heighten caution toward outsiders. Experiments show that people given oxytocin are more likely to trust others with money, until that trust is broken. At that point, the brain prioritizes self-protection, even overriding chemical bonding cues (Tuhin, 2025).
“Our minds are engineered to extend trust gradually and withdraw it swiftly.”(Tuhin, 2025)
Betrayal: The Breaking Point
Trust, once broken, creates deep psychological wounds. Whether from a friend, family member, partner, or institution, betrayal activates the same brain regions as physical pain. We may feel it in our chest, our gut, or our heart, but it is our brain that’s hurting.
Dr. Guy Winch (2018) outlines three significant betrayal effects:
Emotional pain mimics physical pain
Withdrawal symptoms, like addiction
Intrusive thoughts that delay healing
The emotional aftermath of broken trust is not just hurt—it is grief. Moreover, like grief, it demands time, validation, and support to process.
Trust at Work: A Different Dynamic
In professional environments, trust plays a slightly different role—one rooted in dependability, openness, and mutual respect. When trust is high in the workplace, collaboration thrives, innovation increases, and people feel psychologically safe. However, when trust is low, it leads to fear, silence, and disengagement.
Building Trust in the Workplace
To cultivate workplace trust:
Be Honest: Speak truthfully, but with compassion and tact.
Be Courageous: Do not hide in the background—show up, speak up.
Act with Integrity: Do what you say. Say what you mean.
These simple actions, repeated consistently, create a culture of trust that elevates everyone.
Who Can We Trust?
Determining whom to trust is not an easy task. Some people masterfully mimic sincerity, only to manipulate later. So, how can we discern truth from performance?
Start by paying attention to alignment: Do their actions match their words?
Then consider both intention and competence. A good-hearted person may mean well but fail you through inexperience. On the other hand, someone competent may misuse that power.
“Collaboration is essential to our social life… yet personal experiences often hinder our willingness to trust”
-Fareri, Chang, & Delgado, 2015).
Ultimately, trust is a risk, but a calculated one. Moreover, when placed wisely, it becomes the foundation of emotional safety and mutual growth.
Conclusion: Trust Begins Within
While trust connects us to others, it begins within us. A regulated, resilient mind is more capable of discerning genuine connections from illusions. The gut-brain axis—our internal feedback loop—shows that our mental and emotional states directly influence how we experience life, including trust.
Support this balance by:
Managing stress
Practicing self-compassion
Noticing emotional triggers
You will not always get it right. Some people will still let you down. However, healing, like trust, is a process. Be patient with yourself. Rebuild slowly. Moreover, above all, do not give up on your ability to connect.
Trust is not a sprint—it is a marathon. One step at a time, it rebuilds itself when nurtured with awareness, honesty, and hope.
References
Hancock, P. A., et al. (2023). How and why humans trust: A meta-analysis and elaborated model. Frontiers in Psychology. https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC10083508/
Tuhin, M. (2025). The Psychology of Trust: Why it is hard to earn and easy to break. Science News Today. https://www.sciencenewstoday.org/the-psychology-of-trust-why-its-hard-to-earn-and-easy-to-break
Winch, G. (2018). 3 surprising ways heartbreak impacts your brain. Psychology Today. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-squeaky-wheel/201801/3-surprising-ways-heartbreak-impacts-your-brain
Fareri, D. S., et al. (2015). Computational substrates of social value in interpersonal collaboration. Journal of Neuroscience. https://www.jneurosci.org/content/35/21/8170